Bad Parenting 101

Remember how I'm smitten by this little girl...I think the smitteness is over. I think I've loved her so much to to prepare me for these next few months. She screams A LOT. Loud high pitched unbelievable screeching and it's really aggravating, especially when I'm stuck in a car with her. Just the other day Henry had a conversation with me in the car that went just like this...
Henry: Mom, lets take her back.
Me: Take her back where?
Henry: To the baby store...and let's get a new baby that doesn't scream so much.
Me: That's a good idea.
You know how as a parent, every once in awhile you make bad choices concerning the safety and well being of your children? I've made a few bad choices lately. Let me tell you about a few of them. This picture is right before I took the kiddos on a run. They are sitting on plastic bags because it had rained on the stroller earlier that day. I thought the rain was over for the day. I was wrong. Very wrong. Most of our run went well until the last mile, it started to trickle, then rain, then downpour. It was raining so hard, I couldn't see, but I just ran as fast as I could. I took refuge under a bridge to check on the kids and try and get them as covered as possible and then a giant truck drove by...and this bridge we were under was in a big dip in the road, and A LOT of water had gathered in the road, and before I had time to think, we were completely engulfed by a wave of water- then another car went by and we were covered again and with leaves and dirt. Henry seemed concerned, Milly shrieked with joy (she loves the water), I had mascara streaming down my face and we continued on our way. We made it home alive and semi-well. Henry still keeps talking about it.
Here's Milly right after the run, sitting on the toilet waiting to get in the warm bath. She's soaked.
This next picture isn't the result of a bad parenting choice on my part, I just thought it was funny. Milly was very stuck here, and I couldn't help but take a picture.

This is where Milly ends up every time I let Henry push her around the backyard.

This is what happens to Milly when she plummets down the stairs at our friends house...it was kind of scary. There was a signifigant amount of blood, and it was one of those moments where you have to make that decision as a parent as to whether or not your child needs stitches. I decided to obstain from the decision making and let Taylor and our friends Natalie & Adrian make the decision. I figured there were enough responsible adults around that I didn't need to look closely at the wound. It's been a few days now, and it seems as though the decision against stitches seems to have been a good one. She is healing up nicely. This pic was the morning after.
And lastly, quite possibly my worst parenting decision this week came when I needed to get some marker off Henry's face. I tried a wet wipe with no avail and then remembered how well magic erasers get markers off the wall so I pulled them out. I kind of wish I had a picture to show you what I did, but Henry wouldn't let me take one. As one can imagine, magic erasers shouldn't be used on skin. It seems so obvious in retrospect, but it made so much sense at the time. Henry had a red puffy stinging face for an evening, and I felt horrible. I read the box later and it said to never use on skin, and that it would cause skin abrasions. Oops. Luckily he woke up the next morning without so much as a red mark.

*On a side note, the magic eraser completely removed the marker from Henry's face. so maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.


katiehead said...

Haha I love you so much Laney. This post made me laugh out loud. It also made me miss you terribly, so let's get together!!!!!!! <3 Love, Katie Head

gaylene said...

did the magic eraser get the marker off? :)

Laney said...

Gaylene...it totally got the marker off.

Kent and Leisy said...

all of these things are hysterical. but that is a pretty big list of bad parenting moments. How is mill's eye now? red or swollen? I think that she looks SO much like you in the picture of her laughing in the little car. Oh- and I think you must of inherited that 'cleaning babies with harmful things' from dad.

Classy Clutter said...

That is hilarious Laney! I think you are the coolest, funnest (not a word) mom ever! Milly and Henry are the bomb.com and so lucky to have you! I wouldn't have read the magic eraser box either. And Carter has already had stitches at age 2! Craziness happens but you're still an amazing mom!


The Semrads said...

remember when you got mad at dad for thinking about using clorox wipes to change millys diaper? hmmmm I think magic erasers are a bad idea.

Ashley said...

Loving your parenting. I imagine I not for skin? Who would have thought?

Jason & Shannon said...

I read this morning that magic erasers are made from melamine, a highly toxic carcinogen. Glad they are both ok!

HowellAZ said...

Noted: do not use magic erasers on child's face. Thanks for the tip! Where would I be if it wasn't for your documentation. We can definitely chalk one up on the 'good parenting' side for that one. ;)